sometimes i try to be the better person, to take the high road, overall, to be patient. it doesn’t happen all the time, but when i do lose my patience, it’s never a good thing.

this came up last night when the family was at the table trying to spend some qt together, but one of the members just wasn’t having any of it. makenna was just being a dbag. maybe not really, but, omfg, she wouldn’t sit still, kept running her mouth and was told a number of times to calm down and play the game we were playing. she just wouldn’t stop.

in the past, i would blow up at her in these situations. yell and just generally be very angry with her, or any other kid for that matter. this time i had finally reached the end of my rope. i just got up and said, “i’m not dealing with this any more.” my lesson learned is to not engage with her again when it comes to gaming. maybe for josh too, but more so her than any other child.

all my adult life, maybe even pre-adult, but certainly once i became a father, i wanted to have a family and do family things together. this is why eating dinner every night at the table is a staple. i love to play games and i thought so would my family. this is the other lesson learned. your family isn’t going to be the way you want them to be just because they’re family. i have a blended family now and that sentiment holds even more true. i do have to say that alex does like to entertain my gaming notions, but the rest not so much. sometimes i feel like i’ve done something wrong, like, i brought them up in a way to resent me a little and that why there’s friction when it comes to getting together. maybe i’m over analyzing? i don’t know. i suppose i could delve into my genuine unhappiness but i have all year to do that. also, this is feeling like a dark blog and i’m not doing much but bitching and complaining.

as for the picture in this post, it was painted for me by my lovely wife. it’s beautiful, just like her.